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Scientists Find Thousands Of Previously Undiscovered Species Cowering In Amazon Rainforest

As usual, The Onion’s best comedy is that which is just barely beyond truth. If you don’t laugh, you just may cry.

“Our expedition has shown that the Amazon Rainforest is simply teeming with a multitude of creatures never before glimpsed in this region,” said lead researcher professor Courtland Gere, who personally observed a rare form of spider monkey as it huddled, shaking, inside the stump of a freshly felled tree. “Just mere minutes after our vehicles entered the forest, our team was lucky enough to hear the grief-stricken whimpers of a fascinating, previously unknown species of striped jaguar locked in the fetal position under a pile of leaves.”

(via The Onion)